Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Oh My Heavens - January, 2013

There's a dark side to being a parent that just flat out stinks.  It's inevitable, it's normal, everyone experiences it.  But it is awful.  It's the part when you have to watch your child suffer and there's really nothing you can do.

I type that and can't help but feel overly dramatic.  My family is healthy.  We are blessed in that way.  I know many families cannot say the same. But I will journal this experience nonetheless because it's our story.

Asher had his first concussion.  Long story short, he fell on ceramic tile, on the most tender part of his head - the side.  Smacked his cheek/ear/temple right down on it.  I could tell right away he was dizzy.  Unfortunately, as it always seems, this happened right before nap time.  We were at my parents house and set to leave anyway so after a few tests (walk to me, what's Gigi's dog's name, etc.) I felt he wasn't in immediate danger but I would call the pediatrician on the way home anyway.

Asher fell asleep in the car as I spoke with the pediatrician's office.  The doctor said just watch him and if he vomits, becomes confused or loses consciousness either call them or head straight to the ER, depending on the severity.  Well, I pulled into our driveway and he threw up.  So we headed into the doctor.  She looked him over and all seemed to be fine.  Eyes, ears, mobility, responsiveness.  But my mommy gut said, "Eeehhh, I don't know."  He was really clingy.  He's only clingy when there's something seriously wrong.   She said to take him home, monitor him and if things got worse, go to the ER.  (She also did say, you know your baby.  If it would make you feel better, go to the ER now.)  Well, the question of what to do was immediately answered when he got sick as I was pulling out of the doctor's parking lot.

In an attempt not to panic I pulled over, cleaned him up the best I could and tried to calm him.  He didn't look good.  His eyes were heavy.  I headed straight for Children's Hospital which, fortunately is minutes from our house.  I talked to him the whole way trying to keep him awake without scaring him. Without scaring me.

By some crazy grace of God the ER was empty when we got there.  They got us back and into a room.  While we waited he fell asleep on my chest.  I tried my best not to cry.  A broken bone, stitches, even a high fever (been there a few times) I can take.  The head, that's different.  That can change a person forever.  So of course I was fearing the worst.

The nurse gave him Zofran - apparently this magic drug that stops vomitting.  The ER doctor ordered a CT Scan.  Austin arrived and we headed down the hall to radiology.  The nurse swaddled him and I thought I was going to crumble.  He looked so scared and I could do nothing about it.  Partially because I was pregnant and couldn't stay in the room with him.  Logically, I realize he was fine, especially with daddy by his side, but as a mom it just tears your heart out.  

Over the course of our six hour stay he enjoyed a dose of Mortin, cartoons, apple juice, a popsicle and one more xray on his leg (he was acting like it was bothering him and the doc said there was a chance he could have a toddler fracture based on how he fell.)  Everything came back ok.  He stopped throwing up and looked more like himself, plus a sugar high.

His diagnosis: a concussion.  A seemingly bad one based on his recovery.  He was visibly a bit dizzy the following day and seems to be slowly recovering.  Although it's difficult to tell as two days after the incident he came down with the stomach bug.  Completely unrelated but threw up for 24 hours. It's true, it stinks.  It's the dark side of things.

What I will say is in those dark moments I suddenly appreciate more than ever, the messes, the tantrums, the teaching, the patience needed.  I will gladly take those over scary any day.  But as any parent knows, this is only the beginning.  I am humbled and incredibly grateful for Austin, an amazing husband and dad and our family and friends.  They make those dark sides to life much brighter.

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